I’ll start.
My then gf and I had a chihuahua that just happened to be the most tiny and most diva and most clever little dog I’ve ever met. Tiny, incredibly cute, extreme ego and confidence, a terrible piercing bark and had some wild mood swings on top. He’d go from cuddly to nuclear warfare in a second of something displeased him. He was the eldest and the leader of his little pack and he kept all of them wrapped right around his paw running a little dogmatic terror state. But he took his responsibilities seriously and was always up in front if there was a threat to them. Be it an angry German shepherd or a double parked electric scooter. Nobody messed with his pack - except for him, obviously.
Our little beast was very well aware of his cuteness, and his craving for adoration knew no end. He’d be walking down the street next to me, obviously refusing to yield for anyone, and as we pass some café tables, he’d throw himself flat on the ground, legs pointing in all directions. We called it that he did a doormat. The intent was to throw us under the bus as his keepers so that he’d maximize the aahs and oohs and attention went compliments from the people sitting in the café.
But this is just the backstory. He was vain, and we knew he was clever, but also of this is still learned behaviour with a previously verified outcome.
No, what really set it apart was that one time we were at home, the entire couch occupied by humans, dogs, and generally not him in particular. He was strutting around, being grumpy that others had taken his rightful seat, and nobody would disappear into nothingness for his approval. Not an uncommon thing, but he has plenty of other comfy spaces to be, communal and his very own. We know if we lift him up now, he’ll try force some other dog down just because he wants space for himself, and we weren’t having it. The other dogs were there first today and it’s their right as much, so tough luck bud.
After some time, I notice him staring into the lights off bedroom. He looks at me, turns back to the bedroom and just keeps staring at it. I tell my gf that he is staring into the void and it seems to be staring back at him. We watch him as he keeps staring at nothing.
By now he is an old dog and has already shown signs of deterioration. I ask him what’s up and he shows some signs of anxiety, tail down, tapping feet, mild whimper. I call for him, there’s nothing there, come to daddy. No response. We figure he’s lost it now, the creeping senility we’ve suspected is real.
So I keep talking to him, calming him, approach to turn on the lights and show him around that there is nothing there. He stands eagerly waiting, full focus on me as I come closer. Then - tail high, he runs as fast his tiny legs can carry his body, to the seat where I was sitting, barking at my gf to be picked up into the couch.
And it dawns on me. It was all a ruse! He came up with the clever plan to lure me away from his desired spot. If he acts anxious I’ll get worried and get up, freeing up a vacancy on the couch, and then it’s a fair race who gets it first. His smug posture standing in my seat was what gave it away. He was not anxious at all, he was not afraid, that I’m not anthropomorphizing but that he knew exactly what he was doing.
A multi step sequential plan with a clear goal in mind that he came up with from no be prior training. If that is not intelligence, I don’t know what is.
I watched my Pekingese figure out a problem and use tools.
He wanted on the table where we were setting up for Thanksgiving. The table was stock full of delicious smells. Pekes are shaped like fat egg rolls with flipper feet. There was no way he could jump that high. But ohhhh… He wanted on that table. He just sat there, like a chubby kid staring at an unguarded cake three balconies above him.
After driving himself mental, pacing in place, whining, he sat down and started looking around, thinking about his plight. He saw a spare dining room chair we brought out to accommodate guests. He passed the usual heavy oak chairs to this cheap, IKEA spare chair. He scooted it with his face towards the table. He’d stop every so often, to see how close it was. He was gaging the distance.
Then, at the proper distance, he hopped on the chair and onto the the table before I grabbed him. It wasn’t so much “NO PUPPEH MAH PAHT PIAH!” but I knew he’d grab a slice of meat too big for him and choke on it trying to swallow it before I got it from him.
Later, I gave him his own plate with dog-appropriate and safe food on it.
But my Peke was now another tool-user in my house.
My dog wasn’t allowed in my brother’s room, but he loved my brother. One time, after he was kicked out, he tried slowly walking in backwards. I guess he thought we couldn’t tell what he was doing if he did it backwards.
Alternative headline: OP outsmarted by elderly chihuahua in his own home.
This person speaks the truth.
It is known
Chihuahua 1 House ape 0
I have a little drawer which has a slight gap at the top instead of a handle to open it.
I put a toy my cat likes in it, and he reached inside the drawer and grabbed the toy without even looking inside it.
Bonus: a cat at a base I served at really wanted to get into the war room one night (while I was currently on duty in it), and she managed to lean on the handle and open the door enough to enter.
That cat is an enemy agent, trying to survey the operations room.
I was impressed when my shepherd-mix carried a trashcan with chicken leftovers to me, because he couldn’t open it but I could. He didn’t get his wish though.
I’ve had dogs all my life and have chosen zero of them for their intelligence. My best-ever dog (greyhound) was a beautiful dullard by dog-intelligence standards. My current companion is a box-'o-rocks pibble whose unbounded goofiness and joy makes passers-by smile.
But I once adopted a young doberman from a shelter who kept me on my toes. So did so many crazy-smart things that it’s hard to think of one. She’d unwind her lead off of obstacles, learn things I didn’t necessarily want her to learn, etc. She was a real challenge, like having a toddler around.
Had a friend stay with us a few days. She had a hairless puppy with her. Less than a year old. It was also coldest part of the year. Not a good time to be hairless.
Dogs of course have to go outside to take care of business and being a pup, he onr day decided to take off exploring at top speed.
My cat at the time chased after him and herded him back towards us sheepdog style.
I trained my previous German Shepherd to understand a conditional question. It took a few years to teach, but I would ask “What do you want? Do you want [option]?” Could be go out, food, water, treat, play, love, walk, ride.
After enough conditioning, I could ask him “What do you want?” and he would literally tell me. I’d ask him and sometimes it was clear he was just bored, and would literally start to slow wag his tail and try out options. Like he’d go up to his treats and I’d say “No, you don’t need any more of those…” and he’d get this little tail wag and then go try a toy or something. Was really handy if he ran out of water or something. I’d ask “What do you want?” and he’d lead me to his empty water bowl.
Incidentally thru different keyword use for toys, he learned to differentiate the names his favorite toys. Like his basketballs were always one of his favorites, and he comprehended that his ball had a specific name, but still fell into the category of “toy.” So if you said “Go get a toy” he might bring his basketball, but if you said “Go get your ball” he would only grab his basketball.
He sadly died a couple years ago. He imprinted a bit on one of my current dogs (also a GSD), and I’ve been trying to expand on toy names with this guy. The names he’s got down well so far are blue ball, basketball, jack, long jack, cactus, pineapple, donut, and the ring. Maybe a couple other toys I can’t think of that he’s learned. (we spoil our dogs with too many toys…) But I can tell him “Go get the cactus!” and he’ll tear off and search until he finds the specific toy.
It’s very enriching for him and really shows off the intelligence of dogs that people take for granted (intelligence definitely varies on breed tho…).
Damn that’s impressive. I had a poodle as a kid that had a vocab … but not that big! She knew 2 or 3 toys and family members and a couple basic things like outside or food. If she heard the word cat in casual conversation she would go looking and barking at the back sliding glass door.
That’s incredible. That’s smarter than some small children lol. Some dogs are so smart.
Average German Shepherds have cognitive abilities similar to a human child around the age of 3. Exceptional German Shepherd intelligence definitely exceeds that imo.
I grew up in a large family with many children and my educational background is in psychology, and I am convinced that some of my dogs have been as smart as the average 4 or 5 year old, at least…
Part of that, just like in raising children, is about imprinting and instilling inquisitiveness. Creating complicated play activities like hide and seek, hiding toys/wrapping them in a blanket, scent training, etc. I train my GSDs to observe animals rather than go after them, and they will sit on the porch outside and just watch animals like I would.
You can shape dogs to be smarter and incredibly affectionate/empathetic; it’s not entirely genetics in my opinion. For the greatest impact it’s best to start young, but I’ve been able to facilitate more inquisitiveness in rescues/fosters before too.
It’s nice to see someone arguing the nurture side of things. Breed does have a significant influence, but how a dog is treated makes far more difference to their eventual personality.
I have always talked to my dogs the way I would talk to a human. I don’t use babytalk or even adjust my vocabulary. Not only does it seem to give them a startlingly good understanding of human language, it also makes them more inquisitive and more interactive. If you treat them like people they behave more like people.
I have had dogs that were smarter than others, but the average has been far higher than people generally assume.
Reminds me of the time my old roommate was outsmarted by his cat.
He was sitting on the piano bench after some practice and I and another friend were sitting on the couch. We were all having a light conversation in the evening but his cat had all his comfy spots taken. He jumped up on the kitchen counter in protest–a spot he’s not meant to be–and my roommate went over to shoo him down. After he sat back down on the piano bench, I saw a lightbulb go off in the little cat’s brain. He hopped up on the counter again to test his hypothesis, and sure enough, my roommate went over to shoo him down. After the third time jumping up on the counter, the cat rushed over to the piano bench and immediately laid down. My roommate, being the sweet man he was, sat back down next to him on the little corner of the bench as to not disturb him :)
It was one of the most genius things I’ve ever seen an animal do.
Thinking about the hundreds of dollars I’ve spent trying to keep my dog out of the hostas and from getting under the deck
My German shepherd mic is a high energy hell raiser that you’d think is dumb as a biscuit, but has proved me wrong several times, especially as an escape artist. There was one that shocked me more than any other.
My neighborhood had been having a rash of break-in during covid lock down. Neighborhood teens mostly being bored it seemed. One day while I was at work, they tried to get in the back door, and in true guard dog fashion she went ballistic at the door, barking growling and gnawing the door handle to the point of leaving bite marks.
Invader successfully ran off, now she’s just so fucking excited she has to pee. I’m at work for another 3 hours and she can’t get outside. What does this doofus do? Breaks into the bathroom (that she has watched me pee in repeatedly) and jump up on the tiny guest bathroom vanity and pees in the sink. I fully believe that if I left toilet lids open she’d have peed in the toilet that day.
I had a wiener dog that absolutely SLAYED moles like it was his job. Seriously, I bet he killed more than a hundred over a few years. I guess it kind of was his job, wieners are bred to hunt burrowing animals like that. Dachshund is German for “badger hound”.
Anyway, he got a little older, fatter, and lazier, and we also moved to an area with tougher soil, so his mole slaying days were over (we thought). But then we got a young German Shepherd, and he figured out that he could find the mole (his downward pointing ears made him good at that), start digging the hole, and then stand back and let her take over. Then after she did all the hard work of grabbing and killing the thing, he would steal it from her and come present it to us very proudly.
He wasn’t a terribly bright dog, so I was really impressed when he started doing that. The German Shepherd was way smarter than him by any measure, but I think she didn’t care that he was taking credit for her kills. She was just having fun helping him. Both excellent dogs, I miss them a lot.
My pig is a trip. Smartest animal I’ve ever been around.
He had never seen the front-porch gate removed nor had I ever seen him test it. He knew it was a block he couldn’t resolve.
Removed the hose clamps that hold it to the pintles. Pig walked up took a look, stuck his nose under it, lifted the gate and cruised right out, just like he’d done it 100 times.
I feel like I would have to point out how the clamps work to a non-mechanically inclined human. Homeboy didn’t study it at length. He noticed what was different and instantly understood the implication.
My parents dog. There were two of them. The older was almost blind at this point, but the young one was smart. She was taking care of the old dog most of the time (like barking so he knew to come back in the night for example). Once the old dog had a bone to chew. She barked at the horizon as if a cat was there, so the old dog run to it barking. She immediately stop barking and take the bone for her.
Now she’s older and the old one is no more. She manipulates my parents now. To get carried instead of walking for example.
Just the other day my dog lost track of his frisbee in the water. It barely floats so it must be hard for him to see. He swam around in circles for a while looking for it. My wife started cheering when he would swim towards it, then go “oh! no. no. no” when he was swimming away from it. He essentially worked out hotter/colder on the spot in order to find his frisbee.
Don’t leave us in suspense dude. Did he find the frisbee or not?
