I will go and open a ticket and I will put two words in it, and require you to contact me for more any information, and then I won’t answer the phone for 6 weeks. Oh and don’t bother leaving a voicemail message or sending me an email, because I never check them. However despite my complete unresponsiveness, I am nonetheless going to insist that it’s marked as high priority even though I don’t understand what high priority means - Every Employee Ever

Indeed. And yes, they know how to do that.

But tickets take too long.