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Just move to the south. I dropped some stuff at the dump and the dumpmaster was talking at me about how 9/11 was actually holograms and his uncles friend worked for Linden Johnson, so he knows all about the secret alien projects and that we went to war in the middle east to locate a stolen rage/zombie virus that Russia developed and lost.
Yup, I live in the South. It’s like a minimum security psych ward with a Dollar Tree inside.