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Nope. I actually never want to be described as nice.

Fair, though? Yes, I would like to think that I am fair.

I’m not a bad person. That’s all I really care about.

A lot of people in this thread appear to be pretty hard on themselves. There seems to be a trend of people who want to be nice, are trying to be nice, but don’t see themselves as nice. If that sounds like you, then I’ve got some good news for you:

You are a nice person.

If you’re sincerely making the effort to be a better person then that’s admirable. Self improvement is hard. Too often people are quick to judge based on the result of your actions rather than the effort that’s put into them. To put it another way, we judge people by their actions but judge ourselves by our intentions.

Treat yourself to the niceness that you’re trying to show to other people. You’re doing the best you can. You’re trying to be a nicer person which means you’re trying to grow. From tiny seedlings grow mighty oaks, and the seedling shouldn’t be shamed for starting its journey. Rather, it should be encouraged to keep growing.

If you find it difficult to be nice, but you’re trying to be a nice person, I’d say that’s a lot nicer than being the person who dismisses another for not being ‘nice’ enough.

Other people seem to think so, but I am not any nicer on the outside than on the inside, not unfailingly polite and certainly get defensive sometimes.

So I am going to say yes because what’s on the outside is what I feel in the inside, and people think I am nice.

I believe I’m reasonable (most people would believe this of themselves though). I try to be a respectful person. IDK about “nice” though. I would classify one of my friends as a genuinely wholesome and nice person, whom I envy and look up too. The deficiency between him and myself is why I probably wouldn’t consider myself nice. I hold myself to the standard that I see from him and I’m not there.

I have a different take: I try to not be an unpleasant person.

I suffer from a particularly nasty Voltron of ADD and Asperger’s. High-functioning, yes. But it’s still a non-trivial level of neurological fuckery. This means that my social actions and reactions are… different. Sometimes they deviate significantly from the socially accepted baseline. So to be “nice”? What is nice? How to categorize that, measure that, evaluate that? “Nice” could be different for each person I come across.

So to avoid driving myself crazy, I have flipped things and simply concentrated on not being an unpleasant person. To not be rude, not disrespectful, not frightening or combative or creepy. It ends up being a little easier to categorize, define, and measure in that regard, because it involves not doing something instead of doing something. It is avoiding a baseline instead of trying to meet it.

No. I know people who are genuinely nice, and I don’t compare to that. I am, for the most part, trying to be a very relaxed person though, and my benign apathy has sometimes been described as “nice”.

I think so. I’m kind and caring, I have really great friends who wouldn’t be if I wasn’t also a genuinely good person.

I haven’t always been but I always tried to be. For a long time I was really chaotic and had some personal issues that made it hard for me to like actually follow through with it. But I worked on myself a lot and I continue to. I still fuck up and I’m sure there’s people who think I’m a dick. But for the most part I’m a nice, kind person

Kind. I try to be a kind person. Sometimes I fail. Too many people argue the being “nice” is merely a superficial term.

Yes, I try to be. I can’t be an asshole, I feel really bad about it. I have had to be the cruel person and the liar a handful of times, and I hate to do it. But it is what it is. I look at someone like Elon Musk as the embodiment of a “terrible person” and do the opposite of him.

I am definitely not a narcissist, I am definitely not self-centered, and I am definitely not cruel.

I’m nice to service workers. I am not nice to people on the freeway. Take from that what you will.

Depends what you mean by “nice”. Nice as in “genuinely good” person, or nice as a “nice behavior towards others”? There’s a difference, because in the latter one, it can involve not being honest, just so you can appear “nice”. So I’m not “nicely socially behaving” most of the time, I’m instead hammering with facts (without being aggressive). My underlying reason for being like that is because: 1. I’m not diplomatic at all, I wasn’t born with that gene it seems, 2. I don’t believe I help the situation if I just be nice for the sake of being nice. I feel more useful when I’m straight up, clear as water, without being combative or aggressive. If that makes me not nice because I’m not sugarcoating with socially expected bullshit, then I’m not nice. If that makes me nice because I try to help and my intent is pure, then sure, I’m nice.

I’d say I’m optimistic, hopeful, and we’ll intentioned but it’s been many a year since I’ve felt “nice”. Something shifted in society during the Covid era and I just feel awful going out of my way for most people these days. Very much in the “every person for themselves” category.

I am very nice. I could probably be kinder, but I think if I was I’d be letting myself get walked on and stuff, so I don’t think it’s all that good to be too polite.