inb4 “if it’s legal it’s not a crime”
I’d go to Iowa and lie about butter.
Jaywalk then torrent a movie.
It’s crazy that you guys in the US can get a ticket for crossing the road
Freedommm!!
As a non-American, everybody jaywalked back in London. You just go with the crowd when there aren’t that many cars, so you don’t get hit by a car.
I know of an exploit on a horribly designed website for a national car park company that would allow me to write a script that would effectively give me and anyone else i know free parking for ever for all car parks administered by this company in the country (which is a lot of car parks).
So i’d do that
I love that you have a very specific and arguably moral crime in mind, and it inspired this post.
tbh, i was inspired by a post with the same title while lurking on reddit. i have a rule about not posting there though so i bought the conversation here
Man, I gotta brew something up in case a Crime Day comes up.
I’d like to do some proper money laundering but I’d need dirty money first. Idk, if skill wasn’t an issue, I’d hack the bank and erase my debt? No, make the bank owe ME.
Nice try mr. Copper! 😝
I’d torture the shit it out of the parasite sack of shit that is my landlord
It the best day of the year to get rich from the imaginary economy of assets. Set a bot to match the trades of some people who will be insider trading and cash in every year.
I don’t think that is illegal now. As you are technically not an insider
The difference is that on most days people would need to hide their inside trades. One day a year it would all be out in the open because nothing could happen to anyone. It would wreck the economy and collect wealth in the hands of those who already have it, but if you ride the corruption wave you may not end up among the have-nots.
They’d still hide it, exactly so people can’t scoop them this way.
This I think is wishful thinking. If they already made the trade and profited, they’re not going to care about the people scooping according to what they did. If the followers-on like me overinflate or kill the asset depending on what the cheater did all it would do is damage the economy. If you are in a position of aristocratic privilege such that insider trading is possible for you, destroying the economy is an opportunity to acquire assets at a bargain.
Depends on the trade. If they sell before a stock collapses, that’s true. They better do it before all the other insiders do, though - and you better be first too. Like, microseconds quick, if your strategy is just to copy them 1:1. If they’re doing something multi-step it becomes a game where they have to be careful to preserve their information advantage, or it becomes worthless.
IllegalLegal immigration.I would move to Scandinavia, maybe Denmark or Netherlands.
I didn’t even think of that. i could apply for US and EU passports
Why’d you go for a US passport considering their globally reaching tax laws?
Why do so many every single year go for us passports and us citizenship?
So i pay an accountant to file a tax return once a year. Seems okay. It’s a powerful passport
I mean, reported income at least. I know a few American immigrants that live and work in central and south america, and I know they don’t declare income… at least not 100% of it. But yeah, not doing that and getting caught would be major poopoo bad time.
Go shoplift anything I want. Snack/trinket party!
Banksssss! Rob banks! Then use that money to buy snacks forever!
That’d require planning tho.
I keep my head down. No legal consequences isn’t the same thing as no consequences.
Transmitting radio without a license
I’d go rob the people that made my entire 20’s and 30’s into indentured student loan servitude for exactly the dollar figure they stole from me plus the insane interest that they tacked onto it because they owned politicians who eliminated all avenues that I could’ve used to get out of that contract.
The figure they stole from me: $197,355.49
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It was the CitiAssist.
It had to be a private student loan because my parents made slightly over the max to qualify to public loans even though they refused to pay for school. That left me with loans with insane interest rates. Most of what I had to borrow was to cover $150k to pay rent in the college town I lived in while attending school.
Then, Joe Biden wrote the bankruptcy protection bill, making it impossible for students to disburse their student loans in bankruptcy two years after I graduated. They also refused to allow me to consolidate 8 loans which all had monthly payments that were each intentionally calculated as if it was the only loan I had to pay. Then my loans got bought and moved around and are now owned by Trellis. There’s a lot more to it as well. Housing and healthcare plays a HUGE part.
TLDR; hyper-commodification of basic human needs like education, housing, healthcare, and food coupled with legislation that sentences those that can’t pay their feudal lord up front to a lifetime of serfdom. (Not to mention my union wages barely keeping pace with inflation).
I’d go to the art museum and consume copious amounts of hallucinogens.
Before I moved from DC I did that and wandered around the Mall and went to the Hirshhorn with two friends. Lovely day.
I did that at the Van Gogh museum in Amsterdam
i got baked in vondelpark before going there
There’s no need due to how awesome it is already, but I totally get it and I bet it must have been absolutely amazeballs.
Great museum, I saw the “Potato Eaters” there.
I would steal a single nuclear icbm and take it to a pizza hut and just leave it there. Just seems like it would cause some interesting conversations.
i imagine the engineering required to get an ICBM to a random pizza hut would be worth a conversation too
