I’ll start. My girlfriend’s cat never purrs or does the “baking biscuits” thing even when he is clearly enjoying the cuddles.
Our dog does a front leg “handstand” to pee. I assume she peed on her hind legs once and decided keeping feet of the ground is a better plan.
So - both hind legs are in the air, am I reading this correctly? Would love to see that lol
I have seen this. It was a teacup poodle.
Yes, back end floating. Will try to get a video one day
Both of my cats will never, I mean never, sit on my lap.
One likes to jump from side to side over me when I’m sleeping. She also lets me lay my head on her like a pillow.
One will play fetch like a dog. She will only eat her treats if I throw them.
They both know what push means when I tell them to open the door.
They both love drawers.
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I made the mistake of letting my cat drink from a slow stream of running water in my bathroom sink ONE TIME and ever since then the little wench will not allow me to take a shit in peace, within seconds of me closing the bathroom door she starts scratching demanding me to turn the faucet on for her.
I’d buy her a fountain if I didn’t know that she would still prefer the sink, in classic asshole cat form.
My dog likes to steal things when we’re out of the house and leave them on the stairs or on our bed.
She’s not a breed that’s known for having a particularly soft mouth, their claim to fame is probably the opposite if anything (malinois) so it’s kind of impressive when I find an avocado or a martini glass somewhere unexpected without even the slightest bruise.
We joke that they’re her “emotional support objects.”
When I speak to him directly he’ll often make really dumb faces
My cat used to sleep on my head / hair.
I have a cat that plays fetch.
It sounds cute, and it is - until he’s bringing you q-tips he dug out of the trash to play with.
Every time my cat sneaks to our bedroom trash and grabs a q-tip, he SPRINTS out the room and we both yell “CONTRABAND!!!”
Our cats also play fetch as well! We have these shitty bouncy foam balls we dub “regular ball” that they’ll often bring into the room to have us throw them. We have to keep a bag of treats handy at all times.
One of mine does that too. He only likes sparkle balls or rattle mice tho, so no risk of gross items from the garbage fortunately.
We have a wood floor and his favorite thing is to have me throw it in that room so he can slide halfway across it while fetching the toy.
He has definitely slid into the wall a time or two.
Our tabby also loves to fetch and he prefers the rattle mice too
We got some of those trash cans that have to foot operated lid and a pretty heavy spring on the lid, they’ve been super helpful keeping our dogs out of the bathroom trash.
My cat and I would play catch when he was younger. Then he discovered the outdoors and that was the end of that. He’s content to just come in for a lap sit in the evenings these days.
I had a cat who loved doing that with a ball of paper. It was basically the only toy she cared for. I bought her so much stuff but it was all not interesting.
All three of ours play fetch, but only with specific objects. They’re all brothers about 2½ years old.
The tabby cat plays fetch with fluffy toy balls with feathers on them, the grey cat plays fetch with spare cat collars and the little black cat plays fetch with menthol sweet wrappers.
my cat poops before she eats. most cats poop after they eat.
not exist
My partner’s Chihuahua hates gettint wet, but he has no problem yellowing his front leg when he pees. Also when he takes a shit, he moves on of his feet up and down slowly, like he is pumping the shit out.
He does not ever want you to stop petting him. When you take a break, he pushes his head into your hand or paws at it, much like a cat would do.
My one dog is very special. She likes to sleep with her head under the couch. She was not pleased when we got a new couch that her head wouldn’t fit under. She sometimes runs into walls and falls off of sidewalks.
My other dog is entirely disinterested in toys. She does not play with them, ever.
My cat only does anything a cat does…friggin weirdo, like licking his ass elaborate when I am eating.
Unusual overall? A lot, since she’s a chicken, and they’re batshit crazy.
But unusual for a chicken would have to be her habit of cuddling. She doesn’t do it often, but when she wants to cuddle she cuddles the hell out of you she pecks my arm until I wrap it around her, then borrows her beak into the crook of my elbow then starts her little content chuckle/purr.
After that, there are only two rules: no touch, only cuddle. And no moving, only cuddle.
Anything else is met with an indignant rage that can’t even be matched by a church lady at a strip club getting teabagged. There will be squawking, and you will obey, or suffer the Wrath of Marans (which rhymes with Khan, and the s is silent because it’s french).
The Wrath of Marans is mostly just more squawking, followed by angry stomping. But it’s terrifying if you squint really hard. Okay, if you squint real hard and pretend you’ve been shrunk to the size of a particularly small mouse.
The Wrath of Marans can also be doled out for other crimes such as; not surrendering the biscuit, not surrendering the peanuts, not surrendering the completely inedible piece of aluminum foil in your hand, or the analysts absolute worst crime of all; Picking The Chicken Goddess Up to Prevent Her Pecking Things That Will Hurt Her. Which can be elevated to all caps as needed. Which is just the same thing with extra squawking and some growls.
You pull the string, the pointer spins and lands on: The Chicken says BAAAAAWWWWWWK! I WILL EAT YOU, PITIFUL HUMAN!
Jesus. Did Terry Pratchett fake his death and are you him?
Well written. That made me happy. Also your chicken sounds adorable.
Nobody has ever given me a compliment that wonderful. Thank you very much :)
My dog has a foot fetish. My snake has an armpit fetish. We tend to find them both randomly staring at empty corners.
