Looks like my account was banned/restricted for the above interaction, have already sent the mods on world an email asking if they’d be willing to reverse that. Had an episode of psychosis a few months ago where I did say some offensive stuff, (understandably) got a 3 month ban on .lol for that, so could see my account having been flagged.
I uh, I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect people to check others profiles to ensure we are correctly pronouning them… when making a throw away comment that is less than 10 words involving a ludicrously common saying. Jerboa does not show users pronouns. I could switch to an app that DOES show the pronouns, do any Lemmings have a recommendation for a free Lemmy mobile app that has that feature?
Edit: Edie chimed in, Jerboa does show pronouns. It’s a formatting issue with mobile vs browser (She has them on individual text lines so they don’t appear on mobile).
Was just going to respond to the user in question to let them know I wasn’t purposefully trying to offend that individual, to discover I’m not able to post or make comments on world now, so figured I’d see what y’alls opinion on the matter is.
Girl, you’re good. It’s all a simulation.
Always has been
I just checked the apps I use, and sync shows display names properly.
I know that for some people it’s quite a struggle. Whether it is their focus, lazyness, energy levels, unwillingness during their toilet time or something else.
So, I’d say no. That’s part of why I usually just go for they/them. Just like when you don’t know someone’s pronouns irl
Then there are those of us who grew up in an era where usernames either didn’t matter or didn’t exist (depending on the platform), so you quickly became conditioned to just not reading their name let alone clicking into their whole account to see who they are. I am guilty of it, but people looking at your profile is creepy.
I know that on Reddit before I left, the only time I ever took a good hard look at someone else’s account is if they said something that made me so unbelievably angry that I had to look at everything else they said to find something to clap back with. By the time I would get partway through their post history, I would realize that I let a random stranger on the internet tilt me and then I’d calm down and feel stupid for a while before going back to my own business.
We are all strangers on the internet. Let’s keep it that way.
Right, do tell me how “semperverus” or “edie” tells me anything about gender? Yes, I know my profile is empty with just some comments, feel free to be as creeped out as you like.
Looking trough your profile I can’t figure out your gender either. Just a fanatic use of slurs
Generally I wouldn’t take that kind of thing too seriously from hexbears they love conflict and actively seek it out
I lurk quite a bit, rarely comment or post. Have seen a lot of complaints about the Hexbearers, didn’t think they were too bad (well there are accounts on there that do seem to like to push Russian/Chinese talking points frequently + consistently). However overall the community provides some high quality content/insight.
I’m sure 80% of them are lovely people, but the minority are so damn loud and travel in packs
Scares off libs and wreckers
well there are accounts on there that do seem to like to push Russian/Chinese talking points frequently + consistently
Like what, pray tell?
Generally I wouldn’t take that kind of thing too seriously from hexbears they love conflict and actively seek it out
Considering what you just posted here and the context of the responses you expected:
You know what, that’s fair. I am a hog for dunks and we do like to deploy the ppb
You are supposed to do deep research on the person you’re commenting to…
I barely even read usernames, plus Voyager App doesn’t show profile bios, so even if I wanted to check their profile I can’t and I’m sure as fuck not using the mobile website to get the information.
Same. Voyager doesn’t show it, I’ll do my best, but I’m not going to feel bad when I miss
That’s why I just stick with they/them, anyone who gets annoyed about me using that isn’t worth the energy, it’s an anonymous message board, I don’t know you, that’s my purse!
Dumbass here gets it!
Remember kids, moron is a genderless word that can be applied to anyone!
That’s not an excuse nor justification for misgendering anyone, neutral pronouns exist, use them.
If you get upset by someone using non gender neutral pronouns in general speech I don’t think you’re old enough to be on the Internet, and if you are we need to raise the age of access.
If you tell me I will use them, I’m not a mind reader, I’m a dumbass with an internet connection.
deleted by creator
This is an absolutely garbage take. “Anonymous” defaults to male in everyone’s mind because patriarchy is the basis of our society. Claiming everyone should just be “Anonymous” is a male supremacist and exclusionary of everything else position to take.
I think you replied to the wrong account, this is a completely incoherent response
whatever dumbass point you’re trying to get across isn’t landing because you write in borderline incoherent run-on sentences
the fediverse isn’t explicitly about privacy btw, it’s about taking control from corporations who want to exploit us, and giving it to the community itself via decentralization. there’s absolutely no expectation to be a tinfoil hat weirdo on here, and if you want to cultivate a community that isn’t just a bunch of paranoid weirdos with nothing to talk about except opsec, then yes sharing (in this case the bare fucking minimum) about your identity is actually beneficial to, y’know, discussing things
Whoa there those are big words for an UFO sighting are you a conspiracy theorist or something? Lmao
Learn how to punctuate your fucking sentences.
If you think I would read this shit after that first sentence you’re a fucking idiot
You did the right thing. It’s a lot of bullshit about “oh, you list your pronouns? You must be fine with corporations selling your data” and then at the end there seems to be a bit of “hexbear showed up late to the fediverse party and is ruining everything”, which is, of course, pretty much directly opposite of the truth.
Hexbear existed 2 years before everything else? Fucking wild. This loser’s account is literally 3 years younger than my hexbear account and 2.5 years younger than my Lemmy.ml one and he thinks we’re the late ones?
The only “ruining” I’m doing here is ruining his bullshit fuckoff attempt to associate lgbt and gender with being a corporate thing, it’s fucking nonsensical. Dude deserves to lose teeth.
As I’ve said else where in the thread, Hexbear has some high quality contributors, I’m glad y’all decided to federate.
Your parents failed in raising you
X’D
Look bud, if you’re gonna try and do transphobia to show us how trash you are, at least make it coherent.
Dude I can smell the greasy hair through my screen
Eat my ass
Gender is an incredibly validating concept specifically for some trans people, to write it off is unhelpful.
I mean in my “very long” years of experience never seen in an anonymous ungoverned platform someone intentionally revealing any peace of personal information about themselves like in hacking platforms for example someone calling themselves “he who hacks” or “her majesty” or such where those are only simple usernames but yet reveal enough to minimize the search area and along with the comments data could trigger enough data to start and osint attack on the user and then eventually dox them…
if you’re obligating everyone to acknowledge your personal data don’t be nagging when companies be selling your data and making profit out of it since there are people who like Force feeding their informations onto others to be aware of, hell I won’t even blame Lemmy instance owner to sell the users data by then.
I’ll be talking about myself and the majority of users that immigrated to this social platform based on the idea that it’s ungoverned, legally safe for all users and anonymous so when a user Calles someone bro or pal it’s if not always meant as gender neutral same as in a random people calling you bro with the meaning of that he/she descending from your mom or dad, like yourself, the logic is the same and intentions were pure, plus with the culture of respecting everyone’s right of privacy you’d learn to treat everyone as equal and the same, with the only difference is the mentality and ideas held by individuals not by gender as the only special treat to define a user.
Bad faith argument.
Listing your pronouns isn’t force feeding anything to anyone. Observing someone’s listed pronouns takes less effort than having this discussion.
Using they/them and gender neutral language is helpful as a general rule, but if someone is absolutely fucking waving a flag of their gender, its wilfully ignorant at best and intentionally malicious at worst to disregard it.
Or just quoting a P.T. Barnum as most people don’t like changing quotes for whatever reason and using what is known to be a famous saying is definitely not “intentionally malicious” it’s mostly the ignorant’s fault for not getting the innocent joke, plus not all Lemmy mobile apps show stuff like flags and pronounces so maybe consider that as well on your side before dropping the death sentence…
Your argument was that everything should be gender neutralised. That has nothing to do with OP’s very innocent usage of a quote.
When did I drop a death sentence? Deary me, I advocate for using someone’s pronouns instead of applying they/them to everybody and you consider that a death sentence?
Not “should be” but sometimes everyday users would just quote and go without the extra effort of checking into everyone’s profile before the already wasted effort of doing the comment then changing the quotes based to fit for everyone’s gender perfectly so the easier solution is just considering everyone a catfish and just move on it’s just a quote of a meme anyway for all that effort to waste
No, if they want to be gendered appropriately, they should have it in their username.
It did. OP’s client doesn’t display it. It’s pure miscommunication.
I do! And they isn’t one of them…
Besides that, I do accept that OP couldn’t see my pronouns, it isn’t their fault that I deliberately tried to fuck with my display name, and that their app then honours the newlines I put in there but truncates it to one line.
Apologies! I couldn’t see any pronouns from the image so defaulted to gender nonspecific they. Edited.
It is in their username, their version of Lemmy just doesn’t show it for some reason. Hexbear users have to pick a set of pronouns
I think we are/were/have sent that upstream to the main lemmy code doohickey.
my recollection is that they wouldn’t accept that one. I read through the old github discussions at one point when trying to get into contributing code. They claimed it was basically too anglo-centric and not generalizable to all languages and that therefore they’d only accept a more expansive/generic user tagging/flairing feature or something like that (which could then also be used for pronouns)
i find this very easy on lemmy, in english. i’m usually talking to folks more than about them. if i do want to talk about someone, i’ll check their profile, or default to ‘they’ if data is lacking, but it’s a rare enough thing so as to be little burden.
This is what I try to do. This has been made slightly more difficult after “they” became a pronoun in its own right. I’ve only had one person get upset by my using “they” before knowing their preferred pronouns though, and when my intent was clarified it was fine. But like damn what other default pronoun exists? I guess this is what getting old feels like, it’s not like Iwant to be a boomer about this.
I use they/them as a default. I’ll catch myself in using them and go “wait, what is this persons pronouns” and check, on platforms like Lemmy that have it, their display name for pronouns, and if there aren’t any, then bio. If neither have any pronouns I’ll use they/them. If there are pronouns I will not use they/them unless listed.
To clarify, I’ve never had anyone online get upset with me using they/them, it’s only been in person, after hearing about my conversation with someone else from that second person. I was just left scratching my head with that one, like at least I was trying right? Ultimately though I’ve never experienced being misgendered, by accident or intentionally, so idk how it feels, idk how it feels after the thousandth time, and so I can’t really be mad about it back you know? I was just more sad that the default globally applicable pronoun wasn’t anymore, even if it usually still is.
If somebody corrects you about gender, just say woops, correct yourself, and move on. It’s an honest mistake, a simple fix, and nobody should be offended. Especially online. If they are still offended, it’s because they want to be.
Especially since in this case it was not even the person that was misgendered that called it out. Maybe the original person doesn’t even care.
The user’s pronouns were in her username, OP’s client just doesn’t display additional lines.
I’m not even interested in the username of the person I’m responding to. I tend to ignore it completely unless there’s a comment like “lol, username checks out”.
There are very few times I will bother to check someones profile. They have to either say something so awesome that I want to see more, or have given a take so hot I want to see if they’re trolling or if this is standard behaviour for them.
While it looks like the whole Jerboa/“miscommunication” thing has been sorted out here I want to chime in to say that no, I don’t think that checking profiles for anything is a reasonable expectation.
If they don’t list their pronouns and i can’t tell by their speech i just go neutral. Checking profiles for gender is definitely not considered necessary in the circles i run in. If poster doesn’t make it clear and doesn’t have pronouns listed honest mistakes will be made and forgiven
Its an honest mistake and I think if you appealed the ban you’d have a good case for it, however as you now know that’s the trans flag you can be more mindful in future :)
I think you shouldn’t assume everyone on the internet to be a man. It is misogynistic. I don’t think there would be anything wrong with e.g. referring gender neutrally to someone who turns out to be a woman because you didn’t check her profile which says she’s a woman, but it is annoying to see people assume everyone on the internet to be male. I’ve especially experienced this in more techy communities which definitely seems like sexist stereotyping to me.
This is deeply shitty. If you’re right that >80% of people on Lemmy are men (I’m not sure I buy that), then it’s even worse to assume everyone is a man. What you’re doing is chasing off the already extremely outnumbered non-men. If you want this place to be welcoming to people who aren’t men, then you need to change your behavior.
Ok, then try your comment again. What is it that you’re saying here?
does more to chase people away than what I said
If it means you leave and take your horrible take with you, I’m all for it.
Now I see why a lot of people block hexbear.
Weird, all those instances are perfectly content to allow fascists on their instances. I wonder if these two things are related? No, no, better just keep posting like a redditor and never bother with introspection.
which is why a good majority of instances have entirely defederated from hexbear.
Being a selfish liberal with bad takes that can’t handle pushback from the left is common, yes.
Is it me who’s in the terrible instance
Lots of terrible things are very popular. Are you going to tell me that McDonald’s is the pinnacle of fine dining, too?
It’s sexist because you assume male to be the default, just like the assumption that white is the default skin color is racist. The behavior outlined by the user above you follows from this thinking. Driving non-men away is a result of this behavior, which is the result of the sexist attitude that it’s okay to assume everyone online (or on Lemmy) is a man.
The only people driven away by eir comment are misogynists.
If that comment would chase you away, then I think it would be good for you to be chased away
