Grace Periods.
I’m glad I know them now, because for the longest time, I thought I was in a fucked situation whenever my finances were tight. Like if I was due a bill and my pay cannot cover it because of the dates being different. It used to make think that I had to take a hit and just roll with it. But no, some of my bills allow me a brief grace period where I can gather resources in time. Sometimes I’ll even stretch my money beyond some grace periods if it means that I can upkeep some resources then just pay the difference later.
The things that don’t kill you, do not always make you stronger, but leave you wounded forever.
You’re saying Kelly Clarkson lied?
Not just her, but also Nietzsche
When I was a little girl I thought that everything, all the abuse and neglect, it somehow made me… special. And I decided that one day I would write something that would make little girls like me feel less alone. And if I can’t write that book…
…if I don’t, that means that all the damage I got isn’t good damage, it’s just damage. I have gotten nothing out of it, and all those years I was miserable was for nothing. I could’ve been happy this whole time and written books about girl detectives and been cheerful and popular and had good parents, is that what you’re saying? What was it all for? - Diane Nguyen, BoJack Horseman, S06E10, “Good Damage”
How to properly manage a budget and how do credit cards work
Stoicism. The philosophical ideas of how to live a purposeful and good life.
Marcus Aurelius’ “Meditations” really gave me perspective.
The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday is a great beginner sampler, and/or a way to keep it in your life when you don’t have an appetite for the “heavy” stuff.
Aurelius would hate what stoicism has become
Indeed. For many people it has become some kind of Broicism where alpha Incels talk to each other about how tough they have become and how they’re suppressing their emotions.
That’s of course not what I refer to. I actually read the ancient texts and The Inner Citade by Pierre Hadot. When I talk about stoicism I actually mean it in a way that Seneca, Marcus Aurelius, Rufus and Epictetus would agree on.
Lying can get you ahead in the immediate, but then you’re a liar, and liars lose friends and alienate people.
opposite for me. Sometimes it’s better to lie about small details as to not bag down an unrelated conversation with “well actually it was my sister’s boyfriend’s mother’s dogs uncle that told me that, not my sister’s boyfriend’s dogs aunt.”
I also have autism and struggle with conversations so that’s probs why.The danger to me is its sorta impossible to lie without in some way believing it. The Costanza thing. It basically reduces your own ability to discern reality.
Really depends on the lies. Lies that get you ahead on life are typically not the same ones that tend to snger those you care about.
Probably would’ve been nice to know I was trans a few years younger but I started hormones at 20 as did a friend my age who came out at 16, so like it probably would’ve been less consequential than much.
The importance of studying. And related, calculus and how electricity works. Both would’ve saved me a lot of money to have learned 6 months earlier.
Also how to say no to someone trying to negotiate your boundaries and use your kindness to push you into a relationship. I should’ve walked away the second she said she wanted to negotiate my no and that she wasn’t going to give up on pursuing me. That situation fucked me up and wasn’t even the first time someone with insufficiently controlled bpd wound up pressuring me into romantic/sexual situations I wasn’t comfortable with by making it harder to say no than to give what they wanted.
That it’s never too late!
When someone is abusive or hurtful to you, 90% of the time it’s not your fault. It’s that there is something wrong or something broken in them. They are malfunctioning and it’s necessary to understand that.
The other 10%… Well, own that and fix your mistake.
But a very large majority of the time, it’s them being broken and wrong.
For me it’s been rough accepting that I’m absolute bpd bait. I struggle to hold boundaries and am happy to help people in need. Add in a trusting nature and yeah I’m still learning how not to get abused.
Figuring out abusive relationships for me was hard because I knew friends with good intentions, and gave valid criticism but were absolutely brutal about it.
Now I very rarely associate with very insecure people. They are always looking to “prove” themselves, often by putting others down.
They can’t just accept someone’s accomplishment, they have to go “well actually you got help from so and so…” And always try to undermine your achievements. Extremely mentally exhausting people.
Your high school diploma. Nobody ever asks for it. No job I have ever held has asked for proof that I completed high school which I didn’t. My last job had a class they wanted me to take at a night school and that’s when they realized I didn’t have it after 7 years of competent, exceptional work, so they just shrugged and got me in there anyways
Shit, I was able to get my GED to get in to college, didn’t complete, and get a job at one of the biggest tech companies on a prestigious project without completing either. But I was self taught and lived and breathed tech stuff to get there at 29 while the people with CS degrees were getting there at 22, so there’s a downside. But it’s just a piece of paper.
Not too late but later than I should have:
- To seek professional mental health help
- To understand that Bisexuality really exists. Growing up and in my teens in media and pop culture it’s seemed that you either were gay or straight, no other option.
And that being gay was bad. It was not conveyed well in our media, and our culture was full of negative connotations with non-heterosexuality. I feel you on this one. Bi people exist, and we’re everywhere!
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Dynamic programming. I should have just chased a check rather than trying to save the world
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Any work or study done during an all-nighter is a waste.
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If you meet someone and all they do is talk about themselves, they won’t be a good friend.
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Nobody really cares how you look or what you wear. And anyone who does has bigger issues they would rather not deal with.
Depends. When I was in art school, I regularly worked for 36 hours straight, and at least once for 72 hours straight. But it’s studio work, where you’re actually making a <<thing>>; it never would have worked to have been trying to read Marx/Engels or Hegel and expect to have any kind of comprehension.
Yeah engineering work on an all nighter is worse than not, but you gotta do what you gotta do and it’s physically there then.
Though writing for a classics class is the other area I’ve found all nighters to be acceptable. Though that was as a 19 year old on methylphenidate.
Any work or study done during an all-nighter is a waste.
Depends. I did some of my best work at this time (private project. not for my actual workplace).
Same. That’s when everyone else goes to sleep and actually leaves you time to focus on your work.
I sense ADHD (source: am ADHD)
Maybe ;)
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