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in the early 2000s*
I have a similar story. One of the security guards was found to have a hard drive full of BDSM porn. When interrogated about it, she said “It’s not pornography. Those are my holiday photos.” And sure enough, she was the one holding the whip.
The compromise reached was that she wouldn’t put her holiday photos on her office computer any more.
I fired someone for ignoring their work, falsifying the records, and instead driving around all day in the company van playing Pokémon Go. Yes, the van has GPS. Yes, they were aware of this fact.
I should add, they had worked there for nearly 30 years, and transferred to my team. The individual had probably been shirking their duty in this way for their entire career, but the Pokémon Go thing was going on for several years at least. Their previous manager didn’t look into why someone with barely any customers was always so busy.
This reminds me. My work relies on items coming from a courier service. Most of our couriers are pretty timely, coming when they are supposed to and only being late on occasion. One of our couriers just decides to occasionally randomly come 1-1.5 hours late (or longer…occasionally he has come 2 hours late which is insane…you could probably walk to the facility and back in that timeframe)…despite the place he’s supposed to be coming from being the closest of all the other couriers. Based on the time he is supposed to arrive to pick up his items at that facility, there should be plenty of time for him to get here. Hell, I could probably ride a bike back and forth to that facility and still make it with ample time.
Somehow, he is often the same level of lateness arriving from a facility 15 miles away than he was when he used to courerir things to us from a facility 90 miles away. The other couriers don’t do this.
He gets repeated complaints but nothing ever happens and he continues to stay employed. They switched his route to be the closest facility to try and help combat his lateness. I always wonder what in the fuck he is doing when he is crazy late like that. My guess is that he is always sitting down for a bite to eat somewhere when he is supposed to be working, but who knows what the fuck he’s doing. Pokemon Go is a funny possibility. One time he admitted to someone that he gets more money the later he arrives. So I’m thinking whenever he wants an extra buck then he arrives at some crazy time like an asshole.
A reply to a personal email from the direct boss but sending it to every other boss in the enterprise and including something in the line of “stop touching my balls!!!” (“deja de tocarme los cojones”).
Could that be translated more colloquially to “stop busting my balls”?
reminds me of a google review I saw once where a bar owner in Japan replied to a review and said something like “next time you are in town punch me in the face” which probably meant hit me up, but I loved it
I saved your comment to give myself another laugh in a few weeks. Amazing.
I think it could be. I’m not a native English speaker, so…
If it was meant in a “lay off me” or “get off my back” way, I think “stop busting my balls” would be an accurate translation
Messaged in a work chat to “come and grab a laptop before they get asset tagged 😉” when we got a big donation of laptops
One of my current co-workers. In his previous job, his company had him managing a warehouse by himself. Doing all the work, including the jobs that by the company handbook required two people and protective gear that they also didn’t provide. When they were finished with that place they fired him for ‘working unsafely’.
Not his responsibility, but still a dumb way to get rid of an excess employee.
A salesman for the company forged sales orders. As soon as the company started billing the supposed customers he was discovered and asked to leave immediately. No severance (which you by law are entitled to), just leave, and we won’t file charges. I have no idea what possessed him to do something so stupid…
No severance (which you by law are entitled to)
Not when you’re terminated with cause.
Committing crimes on the clock is more than enough reason to fire someone. Dudes incredibly lucky he was asked to resign instead of being fired and charged.
There’s a linux command, called “touch” which sets the timestamp on a file. It’s used for several things, including testing that the user has write privileges and that the filesystem is working.
I heard of a sysadmin who used to use “touch kids”, creating or updating the file ‘kids’. Some sort of internalised joke, I assume. His boss told him not to because it was inappropriate. Then again formally when he kept on doing it. Dude couldn’t stop, like some form of muscle memory. Kept on using kids as a test filename.
So yeah, he got sacked pretty quickly.
I worked with a guy who’s wife had just had a baby and the baby was sick. The guy was very good at his job but was working from home without really asking permission. We have some leeway in this matter but technically he didn’t clear it. His supervisor really had it in for him and was trying very hard to get him fired for falsifying his time card. I don’t know why he didn’t like him, but the supervisor was a real ass. It may have been racist motivation, but I’m not sure.
I should point out that I had asked this guy to do some work for me that I didn’t have the capability to do and this guy approached it in such a unique way that the customer and some universities were really interested in his work. This is a defense contractor environment where every working hour has to be accounted for. Whenever I asked the guy a question whether via email or telephone, he always responded immediately. It was all computer code so I didn’t see a problem with this.
When he came into work and told me what was going on I immediately contact the manager on his behalf.
Well bottom line is that management pretty much dropped the subject and the supervisor was walked out of the facility. Turns out he had been falsifying his own time card the whole time. How’s that for hypocrisy?
Justice served.
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One of my regular customers is a factory that’s been around 100+ years. My contact there was a maintenance man who retired and was difficult to replace. The young guy that replaced him gets caught jacking off on security cameras. They give him a stern warning and he gets caught jacking off again. Fired.
Someone secretly took a photo of someone else because they didn’t like the shirt and sent it to so many people not realizing they all liked the person and immediately told them. He had HR involved within minutes and she was fired. All of that happened in about 20 minutes of the photo being taken. There is a strict policy on photos of other people at work that has its own training we all do annually.
For those wondering about the shirt
I would wear the hell out of this shirt
It is suspicious that you have a photo of the shirt when it’s folded up. Is that from YOUR closet, by chance?
You have a strict policy on photos of other people at work, so you post it on a public website?
The shirt is not being worn.
Some office administrative was going to be fired, but due to timezone confusion all her accounts were terminated before HR got to the office.
For half of the morning somebody had to pretend to be checking with IT why her computer didn’t work.
Wow, that’s uncomfortable.
I got fired for reading the newspaper during my lunch break. Once a week this newspaper came with a for hire section that also included career advice and al that stuff. I was reading that part but the CEO called me into his office to tell me off. I called his bluff and he fired me.
I was scheduled to lead a team in China for a few weeks and after that had to go to the US for some other job. Sadly people that are fired can’t work off premises anymore so the staff manager begged me to accept their withdrawal of my discharge.
I kindly declined and got payed out a years’ wage. Took the time to reorientate into less toxic work environment. I now work with politicians, don’t know what happened there.
This CEO thought that someone who was going to lead a team in China for his company would look for work through the newspaper?
This is about 20 years ago. Anyway, the absurdity of the situation still strikes me today. I was reading the newspaper provided by the company and mister manager was angry that I read something he didn’t like so he tried to force me into submission.
I think the CEO firing you meant that he wasn’t bluffing.
He first lade a threat. Then I called his bluff and then he pushed through.
In that way I got my full year off.
The stupid thing was that I was fired for reading a newspaper. I didn’t take it up to court because I knew I was getting a full years pay if they fired me that way.
How do you get a full-year’s pay after getting fired?
Contractual and lawful reasons.
You can’t be fired without proper cause so when they fire you without proper cause the wil have to keep you on board for a while or choose to pay you out for that amount of time. I was sort of a foreman with a teal of about 20 technicians and I also had to work directly with our customers. They deemed me a liability because I was fired so they chose to pay out.
Same with salesmen. When you fire them without proper cause they want you out of their network as soon as possible and won’t take the risk of letting you work with costumers anymore so they just pay out the amount of time that is needed.
In Canada. If I get canned my severance is 1.5 years salary. (Based on length of emplyment.) It’s even better in Europe. It’s what happens when a country doesn’t flipflop between two right wing parties and actually has a party focused on the working class.
Cries in American
Yeah like, lol
I have a co-worker (in an open, shared office) who
- doesn’t react to tickets, Teams messages or emails
- refuses to answer the phone even when the call is specifically for him
- has only one specific task assigned to him, which he regularly fucks up but doesn’t care
- sleeps under his desk for an hour every day during work time
- plays music with offensive lyrics loudly, while others are on phone calls with customers
- watches porn on his work computer
- walks over to co-workers, farts, then walks back to his chair
He’s been with the company for 20 years.
George Costanza meets Peter Griffin.
walks over to co-workers, farts, then walks back to his chair
Lmao
This guy sounds like a straight shooter with upper management written all over him. Legend.
The trick is within the company for 20 years. If you’re the guardian of some ancient forgotten but critical knowledge, you become impossible to fire
He’s the guardian of some secrets about a very high profile company, involving some of the higher-ups.
And also has an officially recognized disability, in a unionized company. It is big enough for them to hide him away from public view, rather than risk him airing their dirty laundry in the court case that will come if they fire him.The best move for management in this situation is to “promote” him, into a new role that segregates him from the rest of the team. No office space work in the basement thing, but something that makes him distinctly a different role/title, and physically gives him a small office down the hall.
It doesn’t sound like much, but any physical distance will be nice for you and others like you. It also removes depression when you know he’s the same role but not held to the same standards. Eventually all that crap takes its toll, and good people quit…or worse, they stop caring and don’t quit.
The saying one bad apple can ruin the bunch is very true in work situations.
We had one new guy getting fired for “refusing to talk to people who don’t have a university degree”.
That’s not a firing offense, that guy has HR Director of Hiring written all over him!
Harvey’s Hamburgers counted the times I punched in 1-3 minutes past my official start time (despite me being there 20 minutes in advance all times) as being “late” and fired me based off of this.
The two other employees were both pregnant with the manager so I have a suspicion that I got fired because at that time I couldn’t get pregnant. I still can’t get pregnant now because I’m a man, but I also couldn’t get pregnant back then.
I glanced at your username after reading this and thought it said PregoBoi lol
Finally after all these years I learned that u actually can get pregnant as a man as long as you eat so many perogies. It’s a food baby and mines named Samantha.
And if it’s a boy?
Samantha.
Thasaman.
That managers name? Elon Musk.
Dudes name was Clint. Imagine giving birth to a human child and then looking down at the pink noisemaker and thinking “that’s a Clint”.
Now that there are no other men around I can impregnate all the women. Oh wait, I already did that.
Homie out here flexing with his extremely motile sperm.
