They’re a fucking weirdo like me and so don’t mind being goofy a good bit of the time.
mine is similar, they laugh at my jokes and can also continue them
Eats ass
:9
Expresses disagreement with people talking shit about others when they don’t have to
Informs you about stuff proactively and you don’t have to pull everything out of them yourself
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Their fingernails. It sounds weird, but you can tell a lot about a person by how maintained their nails are. If they have long gross unkept nails, it says a lot. Versus trimmed and clean nails.
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I always do dinner and a movie for Date 1. At dinner, how do they treat the staff? Are they kind, do they thank the worker for their help? Do they tip well? Do they take forever to pick an item off the menu? When I offer to pay, do they initially counter offer for them to pay or us split at least?
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I’d just ask them their thoughts on trans folks wanting to participate in the Olympics with their same gender. The way they react to a hardball question pretty quickly outs any red flags.
That’s interesting. I was a long time nail biter, and I only recently managed to stop, I literally never before had cut my nails. Even when I was a baby, my mom bit my nails, she was like 15 when I was born and didn’t know how to adult. Do you have any tips for taking care of nails? It’s all new to me. So far I’ve found that filing them is worth doing, and my hands get way dirtier now that I have a place for dirt to hide under.
Proud of you for breaking the habit! Not sure if you’re masc or fem, but I’m masc and all I do is clip them before they get too long which helps prevent the buildup of dirt. Nail clippers also usually have a little scraper attachment that works great for getting dirt out when you notice it. I’ve never felt the need to file my nails, but you may prefer the extra smoothness!
Ooh that makes sense. I always kinda wondered what that little knife thing in the clippers was for haha. Thanks!!!
Yeah and if the scraper is textured on a side that’s for filing. Be careful with cheap files though they can have sharp edges. I recently learned the joys of cutting right into the tip of my finger this way
Your mom did what?
what is your answer on 3?
Suddenly this thread is playing with fire lol
I will try. This comes up frequently these days with my Trumper friend, so this could be valuable to discuss here.
I think it would be fine for them to compete provided we can ensure a level playing field. I don’t know what that would entail, but studies should be done to get it figured out. Is it a blood draw for testosterone levels (maybe not… sometimes that’s naturally high for either cis gender)? Maybe estrogen? Maybe it’s number of years post transition, though I see difficulty defining the start.
Definitely a tough issue since if we get it wrong and be too accepting or not accepting enough, many athletes will suffer. I would love to hear some more ideas and thoughts on this. I’m tired of getting shot down trying to talk to this guy.
I saw one suggestion which was to so away with male and female competitions, and instead have “open” and “restricted” comps. Open would be available to anyone, male or female, while you could set up as many restricted comps as you needed for the particular sport or activity with whatever rules make sense. So the 100m sprint might have Open, Restricted - Testosterone, and Restricted - Height - with whatever T level or height in centimetres decided by the relevant authority. Whereas something like weightlifting might have Restricted - Weight as it’s own class. The idea being any gender can compete provided provided meet the restrictions in place to make an interesting/fair competition within that bracket.
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Feel, and spread the aura of energetic.
Having red and yellow or red and black flags on their clothing/accessories
Why is being Belgian a green flag?
No, that’s red, yellow AND black
To avoid any further confusion, red should be the base color, the yellow a cute symbol and black a triangle connecting three of the corners
Okay, yep, I would consider someone being an communist or anarchist to be a green flag
Yeah, I tried to make a funny bit about red flags but avoiding sectarianism muddled it
its more of a long term green flag but whenever someone listens to me, like brings up something i mentioned ages ago or whatever, its just a nice little thing i appreciate a lot
They can laugh at themselves. Not to the point of self deprecation, but they can acknowledge when they’re wrong or dumb
Actually intelligent, reads books, sense of humor, actually listens.
I love my ereader but I miss the days when you could actually see what someone was reading. It was like a book recommending a person
Someone reading a book doesn’t mean the book is good.
I have a book written by a mentally ill person I met, just because I wanted to have more insight into his mental state.
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Comments about reading
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Completely misreads my sentence
😂
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“good” book is highly subjective. It depends not only on your tastes but also on your general mood while reading it. Same for film and art. I saw the Mona Lisa in person and was completely unimpressed.
How do you measure actually intelligent?
It’s like art, you know it when you see it.
When they say it. If somebody says “I’m very smart” or “I’m very intelligent”, you know the answer.
but what is the question?
Exactly!
Excellent question. For me, it has a lot to do with their sense of humor, general outlook, and their problem solving. ymmv
You don’t measure it. You compare it to your own intelligence and see if it matches.
Have YOU been on the mensa forums?
I’m theoretically Mensa qualified but when I met some I turned away. My sense of what’s fun and creative did not align. At all.
No that’s dumb
The flawed metric racists use to claim they are somehow superior?
There is a reason why it isn’t standard practice and only covers certain topics. It can measure some general knowledge, but is in no way indictment to the actual intelligence of a person.
Yes I know the origins of IQ Tests and how it was used for justifying eugenics in USA and how Hitler got inspired by it. But I ment it as a joke to the original comment asking how to measure intelligence. And anyway who believes in a number on piece of paper we all only believe in how much upvotes we can get on Lemmy.
somebody talking about their IQ would be a major red flag for me lol
some healthy self-deprecation is definitely nice, but the eldritch implications of somebody representing their intelligence as convertible to a temperature value transgressing thermodynamic law intrigue me more.
They actually show up, or, failing that, tell you they aren’t going to show up and summarize why and when the next best time is.
They are open to the idea that they could be at fault in any given situation but neither always assume they are nor always assume they are not.
That’s a very fine line to walk.
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Somewhat related… I work at a garden center and my manager is a professor of horticulture. When I transferred to her department, I thought I would be learning so much, but this woman has no passion for teaching and is cynical about everything. She sucks the life and fun out of work. Luckily I enjoy working with my other coworkers, and everybody likes me better than they do her.
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Bit of an update… 3 out of 4 of us employed under her are planning to quit after the new year. We’re just finishing the holiday season because it’s a busy time and don’t want to bail when it’s all hands on deck right now.
The 4th person is only part-time and we haven’t told him yet about our plans, so he may join us once he finds out.
All of us are quitting because of the manager.
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I do this when I play MTG or board games with people. I’m not like professional MTG good or anything but it is the kind of complex system I tend to do really well in. I want to have fun too though so a lot of times I end up trying to control the board in a way to make my opponent think about specific challenges to overcome to defeat me. Gives me something to do that isn’t obliterating them and they get to have an engaging game out of it too
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I’d say it depends who I’m against but overall yeah. There’s always something to be learning in that game and if someone completely new to the game finds a novel way around a challenge than I’ll tuck that away in my toolbelt as well. I also have to know some really obscure parts of how things work together to orchestrate the kind of board state I’m talking about so lots of research goes into it.
I actually do this mostly as a way to learn about new people; see how they approach problem solving and how they socially interact with me (MTG is a space I’m comfortable in so I end up talking way more than usual during play); but I have a couple close friends we mostly try and out shitpost each other with ridiculous gameplay. And then sometimes, on a rare occasion if someone is rude to me, I can take off the training wheels and use my finely tuned bullshittery to make them pick up their ball and go home lol
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This. Someone who is willing to come down to my ignorant level in a subject and reward me for my tiny effort and interest in it, is an immediate win in my book. Though it is a hard line to cross without going into smirky/mansplaining territory.
For example, Veritasium videos are always fantastic, but I can’t get over how the man smirks when he explains concepts, despite the fact that it’s his natural smile.
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I think you have to want to share your enthusiasm about something
This, the enthusiasm sells the authenticity of it, and people are more willing to listen.
I have a friend who teaches high school history and has traveled a lot. She’s great at this! I feel like i can talk to her about almost anything and she never makes me feel stupid.
When they call you because they’re at the supermarket and you might want something.
